OK guys – It’s getting clearer all the time just how critical it is for us MEN to hold a solid, safe container for the craziness and chaos that our women sometimes go through.
I’ve received quite a few emails and comments from WOMEN on this point, and I want to share a recent letter from Lisa M. that is particularly inspiring, insightful and affirming.
Lisa says -
When us gals go nuts we’re actually desperate for our man to be the calm in our storm… To stand in the fire and not shrink back.
I want to thank you for the good advice you are giving to men on The Hero Principles web site.
From a woman’s perspective, you are spot on!
I particularly resonated with this statement you made:
‘She has to TRUST you before she lets you in. That’s why she has you jumping through all these fiery hoops, albeit unconsciously.’
Looking back at my last relationship, I think my subconscious kept setting up situations where I wanted my partner to earn my trust. Trust he had lost by breaking his word to me. Situations that would test his integrity.
I wanted him to show me he could stand in his power, even when I was out of balance.
I was acting out in anger from a desire for safety, like a horse that starts bucking because it does not trust it’s rider.
I wanted him to show me I could lean on him and not fall flat on my face. Well, I leaned, I fell, it’s over… :-)
And I can now see that I chose him to prove myself right – to reinforce my old, deep belief from childhood that people I love break my trust. I’m ready to let that belief go now. I’ve done a lot of work to face that pain.
I look forward to attracting a loving relationship with a trustworthy and loyal man!
Namaste,
Lisa
Those of you who have worked with me one-on-one know the importance I place on a man’s ability to lean in and be present with an angry woman… without letting himself get blown off-course.
In her letter, Lisa uses a vivid metaphor of a horse that starts bucking because it does not trust its rider. She reminds us how women act out in anger… from a desire for safety.
Have you been bucked off by a woman who didn’t trust you fully, who wanted to feel safe?
Have you been letting the wild, rushing waters of her river wash out your river-banks?
I’m here to tell you -
Get back in the saddle. Don’t take it personally.
Re-enforce the weak spots in your river-bank.
The 7 principles in my Hero Principles E-coaching Program are your sandbags:
Remember…
“When us gals go nuts we’re actually desperate for our man to be the calm in our storm… To stand in the fire and not shrink back.”
…Words of wisdom straight from the bucking horse’s mouth.
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