Really?
You REALLY want to know?
OK – Here are 3 answers. Choose your favourite. Then do something with it.
1. The theory: She triggers you because of your childhood experiences, mostly with your parents. You are projecting your unmet childhood needs, insecurities and beliefs onto her. This is the model used by Imago therapist and author of the popular book “Getting The Love You Want,” Harville Hendrix.
The opportunity: Identify these projections together and start to use your relationship as an intentional vehicle for healing.
2. The theory: She triggers you precisely because she is the perfect one to test you, to help you grow past your current limits and into your highest potential. Some teachers would suggest that you actually “chose” her for this purpose… either unconsciously, or even before choosing to incarnate as a human being. AKA “soul contracts.”
The opportunity: Stop resisting the challenges and start “leaning in.” Choose to find the opportunities for growth within your relationship conflict. Once you see her as a teacher and an opportunity, you can stop blaming her and start using the lessons consciously, no matter how painful or difficult.
3. The theory: She triggers you because of Limbic Resonance. Limba-what-ness? This term was coined by Thomas Lewis, M.D, Fari Amini, M.D. and Richard Lannon, M.D. in their book A General Theory of Love. Scientists have discovered that our emotional states have a measurable effect on other people. Researchers at the Heartmath Institute have demonstrated that our nervous systems generate electromagnetic fields that not only extend out from our bodies, but actually interact with and influence the nervous systems of other people. Yeah, I know. Trippy. Whoa. This means that you can (and do!) influence your spouse’s emotional experience all the time.
The opportunity: Bring more skill and consciousness to your own emotional states. Practice emotional intelligence. Be aware of this wordless, profound effect you have on each other.
Which of these theories makes most sense to you?
What action will you take today?
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