I was at a one-day men’s group facilitated by a friend of mine a couple years ago. This friend is a singer and likes to bring vocal improvisation into his work with men.

He broke into that song ”Lean on Me” and pretty soon all of us guys were singing it standing in a circle with our arms around each other’s shoulders, literally leaning on one another for support.

(Not all men’s groups or events include spontaneous singing, but hey – you never know.)

It was a great reminder of the opportunity men have to lean on EACH OTHER for support… and to stop leaning on the WOMEN in our life.

Personally, I was used to taking my worries and frustrations (and frankly my whining and complaining) to my wife, women friends, mom and sister.

By leaning on the women in my life, and not the men, I was cheating myself of the opportunity for REAL masculine accountability and support. Plus I was ripping off the men in my life of the same opportunity.

This probably had something to do with my relationship with my dad (gee, ya think?) and my fears about getting real or vulnerable with other men.

Anyway – The Hero Principles is about taking responsibility for the quality of your life and your relationship, but it’s not about doing it all alone.

Next time you go to a woman for support, check in with yourself.
Is she going to hold you accountable? Would you really want her to?

Consider taking it to a man instead.