Within the community of men that is growing around The Hero Principles, there has been some confusion around the themes of taking Full Responsibility and serving your woman’s femininity. I’ve been getting requests for more clarity, and the “Angry Woman” issue is an especially opportune area to explore.

I recently got a comment on this blog that basically says:
“It’s like she has two personalities.”

The reader then asks a very good question:
“Just doing whatever she wants isn’t going to solve the problem is it?”

I know a lot of men are asking similar questions, so here’s the answer -

It depends which “personality” you choose to serve!

What I’m suggesting is that under her anger, under her rage… is hurt. Engaging her ANGER at face value is a long, slow path. Trying to meet her angry demands or threats is indeed a lose-lose game – It doesn’t truly serve her or you. Her anger will keep you running in circles, chasing your own tail, if you let it.

Truth is, at her core, she doesn’t WANT you to buckle under her craziness, so she keeps giving you opportunities to rise above it. Anytime you buckle, she’ll respond with more anger and dissatisfaction.

So stop listening to just her words and start tuning in to her heart’s true desire. Start seeing through the facade, and into her True Goddess Nature. In her heart she simply wants to feel safe, loved and cared for. She wants to receive you. But she has to TRUST you before she lets you in. That’s why she has you jumping through all these fiery hoops, albeit unconsciously.

She’s waiting for you to show up powerfully and purposefully enough to cut through the protective illusions she’s cast, to cut through the BS (hers and yours)… and to join her heart.

Of course, to do this requires YOU to cultivate a resoundingly clear, courageous and conscious heart of your own. THAT, my friend, is what she truly “wants.” THAT is your opportunity. Doing THAT is precisely what will turn this problem into your shared victory.

So how do you do THAT?

You find out (or decide) what you stand for. You take leadership. You look for opportunities in every challenge or problem. You take responsibility for your own anxiety, discomfort or anger. You decide who you will choose to become on this life and relationship journey you are on.

Some men practice on their own.

Some men join a group of men who are committed to this process.
My friends Jayson Gaddis at Revolutionary Man and  Wayne Levine at BetterMen both facilitate men’s groups by telephone.

In fact, Jayson Gaddis has developed a unique guide that shows you step by step how to start and lead a Men’s Group!

Some men work one-on-one with a coach.

Whatever you choose, the Hero Principles are always there to serve you. THAT is what they are for. There is ALWAYS a hero principle to help you in EVERY situation. Keep them handy. Life provides constant opportunities to practice. You don’t need to look for opportunities, just to recognize them.

Thanks for joining me in this work.

All My Best,

Justice