Guys – How much responsibility are you taking right now for the quality of your marriage or relationship? Choose a number. 40%? 50%? 90%?
I have news for you: Unless you are taking 100% Full Responsibility for the quality of your relationship, you are short-changing yourself and your partner.
So what does it really mean to take Full Responsibility for the quality of your relationship?
It means you are always “Able to Respond” to any situation you encounter. It means not succumbing to old habitual reactions. It means never shaming or blaming yourself or her. It means never choosing to justify your behaviour.
Perhaps more realistically, it means having a commitment that guides you, an ideal that brings you back whenever you fall.
I used to have the same fight with my wife over and over.
Under stress, I would snap at her or treat her less than kindly. Then I would justify my behaviour, pointing out how she had pushed me to my edge. She would be angry and demand reassurance that I wouldn’t treat her like that ever again. She would say that she deserved better and that she wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to like that. I would say that her demands were unreasonable and that she pushes me. I would say that if she wanted my behaviour to change, she should change her own.
And around and around we would go. Is this sounding familiar to anyone?
Well guess what. I woke up. I realized that I was dis-empowering myself and failing to provide a container of safety for my wife. Once I woke up to this fully, everything changed… overnight… literally. The benefits were incredible! I took a new kind of positive leadership in my marriage.
I became invincible… And she became my biggest fan!
When we men get in touch with our innate strength and ability (what I call our True Hero Nature), we can literally transform our relationship patterns immediately.
My loving challenge to my brothers:
Commit to taking Full Responsibility for the quality of your relationship today. If you slip, simply come back to your commitment. If you fall prey to blame, shame or justification… congratulate yourself for catching yourself in the act and come back to your True Hero Nature.
Want help?
Download my free ebook End Relationship Drama here.
Let me know how it goes.
All My Best,
Justice Marshall
This post was originally written for Melissa Zwanger’s (Goddess Coach) newsletter.
http://www.yourgoddesscoach.com/
